Perimenopause: It’s Basically Your Toddler Stage… All Over Again

If you’ve ever looked at yourself mid-perimenopause meltdown and thought, “Why am I like this?!” — you are absolutely not alone.

In fact… being in perimenopause is a lot like re-entering your toddler stage.

(Only this time, we’re juggling careers, caretaking, and trying to remember where we put our glasses.)

The comparison isn’t just funny — it’s surprisingly accurate.

Hormones are fluctuating rapidly, your body is rewiring itself, and your brain is trying to keep up with changes you can’t see but can definitely feel. Just like our toddler days, we’re relearning boundaries, adjusting to new needs, and trying to communicate what we want while wanting to cry, nap, and eat a snack… all at the same time.

And here’s the part no one talks about enough:

so much of this is completely out of your control — and if you’re anything like me, that can make you incredibly stubborn. There are days I want to do what I want to do, regardless of what my body is asking for. I’ll push when I should rest. I’ll fight the fatigue instead of working with it. I’ll resist slowing down even though my body is practically waving a white flag.

It’s not because we’re “difficult.”

It’s because we’re navigating a season where our biology is shifting faster than our mindset can adapt.

Let’s break it down.

1. Big Feelings (At Unexpected Times)

Toddlers can go from giggling to crying in 4.2 seconds. Sound familiar?

In perimenopause, estrogen and progesterone swings trigger mood changes that feel just as intense. You’re not “too sensitive.” You’re not “dramatic.” Your brain chemistry is being pulled in all directions — and it’s reacting.

And when the emotions come out of nowhere, it’s frustrating because it’s not something you can “think your way through.” It’s happening whether you approve of it or not.

2. You Need Snacks… Constantly

A toddler without snacks is chaos waiting to happen.

A perimenopausal woman without protein + fiber + color? Same.

Blood sugar swings become more dramatic, making you feel hungry, hangry, or like you can’t get full. This is your body asking for balanced nutrition — not a willpower problem.

And yet?

Many of us still try to out-stubborn biology. We skip meals, delay eating, or push through the crash… even when our body is loudly telling us it needs fuel.

And let’s be honest — sometimes that stubbornness sounds like:

“I know protein + fiber would help me… but I want this cookie instead.”

That’s the toddler brain taking the wheel again.

But here’s the key shift — the part that actually changes everything:

learning not to fight the season, but to manage it.

So if you want the cookie?

Have the cookie.

But maybe pair it with a protein drink or a yogurt. That simple shift gives your body what it needs and honors what you want.

Your body will thank you — not just physically, not just mentally… but wholly.

This is what managing perimenopause actually looks like:

not restriction, not perfection, not willpower… but partnership.

3. Nap Time Is Suddenly Very Necessary

Remember when toddlers would fall asleep in the car seat?

Well… welcome back.

Your energy dips — especially early afternoon — are driven by hormonal changes, cortisol shifts, and disrupted sleep.

And here’s the truth:

sleep is essential in perimenopause.

Not optional. Not a luxury.

Your brain, hormones, metabolism, and mood depend on it more than ever.

But when everything feels out of your control, it’s tempting to push through instead of resting:

“I don’t have time to nap.”

“I’ll just power through.”

“I should be able to handle this.”

That’s the stubbornness talking — the part of you that wants to keep moving even when your body is begging for a reset.

Learning to manage this season means honoring the need instead of fighting it.

Rest isn’t weakness. It’s medicine.

4. Sensory Overload Is Real

Too much noise, too many expectations — toddlers melt down when it’s all just too much.

Perimenopause puts your nervous system in a similarly heightened state.

And when your body is overloaded but your brain says, “Nope, we’re still doing everything today,” that mismatch creates even more stress and stubbornness. You want to do life your way… but your body has its own timeline.

Learning to manage it doesn’t mean giving up — it means meeting your body where it is, not where you wish it were.

5. Tantrums Happen

And listen — they’re valid.

You’re juggling symptoms, responsibilities, relationships, work, and expectations while your hormones are throwing plot twists into your day.

Sometimes you need a minute.

Sometimes you need five.

Sometimes you want to walk away from everyone and everything.

And sometimes, the stubborn streak kicks in — the part of you that refuses to slow down or change course even though your body is pleading for it.

But managing the season means recognizing the signs earlier… and responding with support instead of shame.

6. You’re Learning Yourself All Over Again

The toddler years are about discovering:

✨ preferences

✨ boundaries

✨ limits

✨ what feels good and what doesn’t

Perimenopause is the same — but with higher stakes.

This stage forces you to relearn:

• what your body needs

• how much stress you can handle

• what rest actually feels like

• what movement supports you

• what foods stabilize you

• what routines keep you grounded

• when your stubbornness is helping — and when it’s hurting

It’s a recalibration — not a decline.

A transition — not a failure.

And yes, a humbling reminder that we are not fully in control.

But the sooner you stop fighting it and learn to work with your body, the easier the entire season becomes.

The Empowering Part? You’re the Adult Version of That Toddler Now.

You have wisdom, experience, and agency that toddler-you never had.

You can support yourself through this season with:

• strength training

• balanced meals

• consistent routines

• better sleep

• stress reduction

• boundaries

• compassion

and most importantly…

a willingness to respond to your body instead of resisting it.

Because when you look at a toddler struggling with big feelings, you don’t shame her.

You comfort her.

You guide her.

You support her.

Perimenopause deserves the same grace.

Final Thought

If perimenopause feels wild, emotional, unpredictable, exhausting, and completely out of your control — it isn’t you. It’s the season.

Yes, it brings stubbornness.

Yes, it challenges your identity.

Yes, it forces you to shift your pace.

But learning to stop fighting it — and learning how to manage it — is where everything changes.

You’re growing into a stronger, wiser, more grounded version of yourself.

And you don’t have to navigate it alone.